The Have's vs. The Have Not's

"The Grass is Always Greener On the Other Side".

We have all heard that quote before, and I think most of us embody it whether we like it or not. We as a culture and people are fairly in tune with our needs and what we want. Whether it's materialistic, or emotional, Americans have no problem telling others what they do not have, but want. While I will admit I am a product of my environment, at times I try to take it back and look at the bigger picture. Too many times we are focused on what we don't have, and what is wrong, then what is right, and what we have. Instead of being happy about our lives and focusing on the good, we focus on what we do not have and how we are not fulfilled. How often do we realize that when we "get" the things we sought after we realize that our lives have not so much improved, but we feel disappointed that with the anticipation over, that emptiness remains.

I have chosen to dedicate this piece to what I have. This blog will be about the positive in my life, leaving out what I want. I feel that if we all start to focus on what we have, we will realize the beauty in life.

I have a beautiful, sexy, genuine, sweet fiancee. Never in my dreams did I ever imagine that I would be able to spend my life with someone who is so caring, and full of life. I truely feel that my life has improved since she has entered.

I have an amazingly talented, thoughtful, kind, brother, who means the world to me. I am so proud of the man that he has turned into. He makes me want to always strive to be a better person

I have two wonderful and supportive parents. They both have been there for me from day one and I am more than grateful for all the love that they have given to me.

I have some of the best friends that a man could ever ask for. My friends are funny, supportive, real, and just good people. They are all my family and will be forever.

I have a job, which in these days and times says a lot. I feel truely grateful that I have been given the ability to help people and improve my program. I spend much of my time there and it has introduced me to wonderful friends, new worlds, new insights, as well as new challenges.

I have overall health. I am here and I have the ability to enjoy my life.

I have a deep music collection and it tells my life story if you give it a chance. Music has been such a big part of my life and I could write my story by listening to the music that I purchased each year.

I have a great love for video games with a large collection of games (as well as systems). Whether it be first-person shooters, sports, adventure, action, racing, fighting, I have them all. My games could keep a person entertained for a long long time.

I have a diverse education in many subject areas. This could range from juvenile justice, to video games, to sports, and to music. Religion, politics, social injustices, love all play a part in my mental encyclopedia.

I have passion, empathy, compassion, love all inside me. What I have is just too much to mention, but I feel truely grateful for all of it. Especially, in these days of economic stress, it makes sense for us to really focus on the joys of our lives, rather than what we do not have and what we want. All of our lives are full of goodness if we just look deep enough. Focusing on these positive aspects of our lives could only help us live happier.

Versatility vs. Expertise

"A wise man needs to learn more because he is aware of how little he knows about so many things.  He is aware less of what he knows, than what he does not yet know."

We have all heard that quote before in some way or another.  This quote comes to mind when I think about the difference between people who are very versatile in their knowledge and lifestyle, versus those who seem to be experts in their respective fields.  I am not here to make judgements as to what course of life learning and living is better, rather to discuss the differences.

Let's begin by comparing two students, one (student A) who has majored in a liberal arts field, and one (student B) who has majored in say, nursing.  What is the difference between their courses of study?  Student A is required to study a large diverse field of classes and gain knowledge in many areas.  Student B, while being required to take some general ed. requirements in the beginning, the main focus is on the field of nursing.  Is one student right or wrong?  Is one student better or worse off when entering the work force (seems that today both students are in deep shit)?  This is definitely very subjective.  Student A might be able to understand a wide array of concepts but when entering the work force their will be no definite paths.  Student B will become focused on Nursing and when entering the work force they know that their path will be that of nursing.  

In these hard economic times we must ask ourselves what path is the best to take.  Is it better to know something about a lot of things in case we have to change careers, or is better to become an expert at one thing with the idea of being an authority on that?  

Now lets consider lifestyles.  We could compare someone (person A) who has many varied interests and can have a conversation on many topics with someone (person B) who has lived their life learning and focusing on one thing in particular, lets say a Rabbi.  Person A may be a hit at any get together because they can add to many conversations, while person B will mainly impress those in the religious sectors.  

I did state that I was not going to give my opinions on what is best or worst.  I think as in life, there are more questions than answers.  Can one become truly wise if they live as person/student A?  what about person/student B?  In our search for knowledge of self, do we find it if we are an expert in a field, or if we have had experiences that are varied?  I have chosen to live my life in a versatile way.  I have followed in my father's footsteps in this regards.  I believe that whatever has gotten you to where you are today, and gotten you to be good, is the right way to go.  

Staying Positive

"They were the best of times, they were the worst of times..."

I think every age, era, generation can relate to this famous line.  No matter when or where you lived, you can think back throughout your life at some extraordinary moments, but also some very painful moments.  When thinking about what inspired me lately, it would have to be the idea that while these days so many people are struggling, so many beautiful things are being created.

It has been said that history is not linear.  So what does that mean? and what is history anyway.  We are taught to learn history in our social studies class while in school.  We are given a text book that is gi-nor-mous and we think there is just SO much information in there.  As we get older and gain some much needed wisdom, we understand that history is written by the winners.  Those that won the wars, those that were in the majority.  For those history writers, they were the best of times.  For the losers, the one's whose story was not told, they were the worst of times.

2009 is a perfect example of this idea.  As we know the economy is the worst it has been in atleast 20 years, the Middle East is as splintered as ever, and terrorists are always a concern.  At the same time, babies are being born, and people are getting engaged.  How can this be?  Is this the best of times or the worst of times? Can it truely be both?  If we believe that life is full of opposites then we can understand that it is necessary for there to be pain and joy all at once.  Maybe the important thing is not what is going on in the world, or in your/our life, but how we interpret these things.  

A couple of years ago I was having a hard time.  My world seemed to be crumbling and I was having panic attacks.  One day, while watching the Mets play I came accross a book called 14,000 to be Happy About.  It was simply a list (a very LOOONG list) of all things that make the author happy.  Some of them seemed silly, and some of them seemed pretty, well, happy.  That sparked an idea in my head.  I decided to write five things that make me happy every day.  The hope was that for a couple minutes a day I would stop and reflect on positive things.  Well, I started to get some of my friends to also do this, and within two weeks we had 500 "happys".  We were posting these in our emails, so I decided to create a website.  http://www.whatmakesushappy.com  was born.  What I found was that this idea was great for people who needed it, OR for those that wanted to do something fun for a short period of time.  This was not something that was being sustained by most people.  More recently, my fiancee helped me start this idea in a facebook group.  Well this group has been going fairly strong for a couple months.  

So what is the point here?  As I have taught my "kids" at work, we can never change other people, or our surroundings, but we can change ourselves, and our reactions to those people.  I just found out that I have a small speck on my back which is cancerous.  Now, I could think that this is a horrible thing, and that more bad is likely to come, or I can think that it will be taken care of and then I will do what I can to avoid it happening again.  I am leaning towards the second choice.

Life is full of ups and downs.  We all know that even at the best of times, something will happen which will threaten our joy.  I'm not going to get into the purpose of life here (thats a whole other topic) but simply, we have to be aware of this rollercoaster, and be aware that we have the opportunity to interpret events as we please.  To conclude, it is up to us whether our life is good or bad.  Exterior events do not control our happiness...only we do.

My "LOST" Theory

disclaimer: This is a theory I just came up with. I wanted to post it on here to see what people thought of it. Please comment with your own ideas, opinions for or against my theory. 

ALSO... SPOILER ALERT!!!

If you are not completely caught up on Lost do not read this!!! I would hate to ruin this for anyone that might be interested in one of the greatest shows ever on TV.

During our journey through the show LOST, we have learned that this Island is a magical place. Many instances point towards this. Here are just a couple:
1. Following the crash on the Island, Locke regained the ability to walk
2. Rose (who had cancer) had seemingly been cured since the crash
3. The man known as Richard in the "others" camp seems to have always been there and never ages.
4. (one not so magical instance) women who are pregnant normally lose their babies on the Island.
5. Jack's father continues to appear on the Island.
6. Locke's body is transported back to the island (after being murdered by Ben) where we learn that he is now alive again, and remembers being murdered.

As you know there are tons of other examples that could be used. This show has always also been about the competing viewpoints of Locke and Jack (faith vs. religion). As we are seeing in this season, the show is trying to convince us that faith is prevailing. I am here to say forget all of that. I believe that this notion of time travel answers all of the questions we have had throughout the entire show, and that it is the reason for all of these so called "mystical" aspects of the island.

If we refuse to believe that the island is magical, we could understand that the question was not where the Oceanic flight crashed, but when it crashed. I believe the airplane went back in time and crashed on the island. If that was true, it would answer why:

1. Locke was able to walk on the island because...they went back to a time BEFORE he had his accident.
2. Rose was "magically" cured because...they went back to a time BEFORE she got cancer.
3. Not sure about this one yet lol
4. Women (most of the time) lose their babies because...they go back to a time when they were not pregnant. While they still show being pregnant in the physical form, the baby has not truely been conceived yet.
5. Jack's father is on the island because...his body was transported to the island on the plane. When they went back in time, they went back to a time when he was still alive.
6. The same is true for Locke, who appeared alive on the island although he was dead in LA. They traveled BACK in time to a period before he was murdered.

Now obviously there are some flaws and somethings I have not figured out yet. Let me know what you think. Does this make sense? Do you know of other instances that make this theory work or not work? Let me know.